FBI Agent Desperately Trying To Remember Why They Have File On Eugene Levy Again
FBI Agent Desperately Trying To Remember Why They Have File On Eugene Levy Again

WASHINGTON—Searching his memory for what precisely launched the investigation back in the early ’70s, FBI Agent Richard Lang reportedly spent Monday afternoon trying to remember why the agency has a file on Eugene Levy. “On the one hand, I’m sure there’s a reason that we started keeping thousands of pages of records on a comedic actor like this, but I also can’t remember anyone ever specifically pinning down what Eugene Levy did to justify spending millions of dollars every year on a surveillance operation dedicated to his every action,” said Lang while paging through a decades-spanning folder containing exhaustive reports on taped phone calls, clandestine filming of the actor’s homes in Los Angeles and Florida, and undercover accounts from FBI field agents posing as extras in the background of SCTV sketches, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Waiting For Guffman, American Pie, Multiplicity, and Schitt’s Creek. “Obviously, he was in a bunch of Christopher Guest movies, and perhaps those were considered pretty subversive at the time. But I still don’t know if that warranted an effort to coerce his own daughter [Sarah Levy] to flip and wear a wire any time they get dinner together. Huh. I’m just stumped here.” At press time, Lang had decided to keep the file open after discovering Levy was both Jewish and Canadian.


9 months ago

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theonion.com


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