OLATHE, KS—Expressing frustration over the way the canine was recklessly endangering the health of everyone around him, customers at a local PetSmart told reporters Tuesday that there was a dumbass dog walking around wearing his face mask all wrong. “Seriously, that fucking idiot dog is putting lives at risk by improperly wearing his mask like that,” said shopper Damien Benson of the beagle whose snout was completely exposed, explaining that he was seriously considering telling a store employee about the hazard the animal posed. “Jesus. How hard is it for the pea-brained mutt to just pull it up? I get that it’s hot out, but we all have to make some sacrifices here.” At press time, Benson became livid after the dog brazenly broke social distancing guidelines by approaching a customer and licking her.
9 months ago